The Rochestarian
Off the Cuff
Motivations
June 15, 2014
I’m sitting in La Cumbre Brewing Company in Albuquerque, New
Mexico writing the old fashioned way – on paper with ink. I’m drinking Elevated IPA, my go to drink in Albuquerque. This is only remarkable for one reason. It’s not what I came for. I came for Project Dank which is the best
beer I’ve ever had the pleasure of drinking.
I was intending to use it as an example for this post, but alas, the universe
has a way of being incredibly timely.
This post covers my personal motivations and encompasses the
primary reason I have been so characteristically misunderstood and horrifically
misrepresented in my recent past, present, and most assuredly, my near future.
I don’t settle.
Let’s go back to that beer again before I dig any further
into this topic. What a perfect
example. I’m supposed to be sitting here
blogging about how I don’t settle while drinking the best beer I’ve ever
had. Perfection. The universe abhors perfection and thus
Project Dank is sold out. Poetic justice
observed, but this opens things up for an even greater point: refusing to
settle does not mean you can get exactly what you want. Sometimes you can grasp your ideal of
perfection. You can touch it, taste it,
or experience it ever so briefly and it may go away. It’s not your fault, and there is nothing you
can do about it, and that’s fine. There
is a secondary point here and that is not settling does not mean you can
appreciate only one thing and one thing only.
Quite to the contrary, actually.
It means you always strive for, seek out, nurture, and take the best you
can get. That is always the best you can
do.
So, I’m drinking Elevated IPA instead. Another perfect beer and hands down my
favorite beer. Here’s another
lesson. My favorite beer is not the best
I’ve ever had. You can easily have too
much of a good thing. Most importantly,
I’m still not settling. There are any
number of incredible beers I could drink in Albuquerque, yet I choose to come
to La Cumbre and drink Elevated IPA because it makes me the most happy, and
that’s what I need right now.
Let’s get back on track before this gets any longer than it
already is. This is a huge topic, and I
intend only to introduce the concepts and focus on one particular example in
brief.
We settle because we are afraid to find out how much better
our life could be.
I don’t settle.
This goes for relationships, food, drink, career, etc. I should have simply said this encompasses
every facet of my life. That would be
the truest statement.
What happens when you live your life this way? Well, it depends on perspective as many
things do. From my perspective, I am far
happier than I could be, but I’m also single and unhappy about it. When you achieve what you’re looking or
striving for, life is not just good, it’s incredible. When you are searching for what you want,
frustration abounds.
Unfortunately, unwillingness to settle is not a common
quality in this country – at the very least.
To most people, I seem aloof, pretentious, stubborn, asshole-ish, and elitist. Yet, my best friends, and those who
understand me the most will tell you that none of those qualities actually
describe me. I simply demand the best of
myself and seek the best I can find around me.
This can be rather off-putting.
Nevertheless, this does not prevent me from continuing down this
path. Yes, every time I am misunderstood
or misrepresented I am upset mentally and emotionally. It truly and deeply hurts; however, the
people who really matter understand, and that is most important. I press on as I always do. Someday I will triumph. Someday I will defeat those challenges that
plague me. Someday all of this will come
together.
Why do I bring this up now in this fledging little blog I
don’t have time to give the proper attention to? I mention this now because it has become a
common theme in my life, and I feel the need to address it. The concept of settling has come up time and
time again either in my interactions with other people, my thoughts about other
people’s relationships, or in my own search for a companion.
Living in the desert has this curious way of making you
confront your feelings and yourself in a way other locations cannot. Where else can you see clearly than when you
are surrounded by the magnificent desolation of a sunburnt land? Given this, I am compelled to address this in
one form or another. I hope it serves to
benefit not only myself but also anyone who actually takes the time to read
this, consider it, absorb it, and apply it.
I hope this starts conversations and an incredible amount more.
The path I have chosen is hard. It is often lonely, subject to ill feelings
and inconvenient truths, and leaves you largely unsatisfied until you figure
out exactly what it is that makes you happy and then gain it. True, understanding the best you can get is
great until you can’t have it anymore. I
drink at La Cumbre because it is my ideal; however, the second I leave New
Mexico, La Cumbre is lost to me. I still
don’t settle. I simply seek out the best
I can get wherever I can or at least the best I can get given where I am. As long as I realize this is everything I can
do, I should be satisfied. This is,
however, not entirely satisfying, but it at least gives me a more complete
understanding of my world and that is worth nearly everything.
Now, it is time for an addendum. Beer and similar things are transient. In the grand scheme of things, they are far
less important if not delicious and exciting.
What is more important? Well, it
is far less difficult to abandon a brew or a brewery than it is a potential
life companion.
When I seek a companion, I’m looking for that one person with
whom I can share all of my greatest emotions, ideas, and loves. To do this without settling is a daunting and
terrifying task, especially when you realize it may be impossible to get
exactly what you want even if you find it.
How do we deal with this? Truly,
the path that denies settling is the hardest path. You put yourself at the mercy of your
feelings and personal belief system.
Beyond that, you expose your deepest self to someone else and are left
at the mercy of their feelings and personal belief system. I am looking for that person who will take
who I am and say, unequivocally, I understand, and I love you for it. Let’s do something incredible together. I am looking for that person who refuses to
settle and understands why I do the same.
Where is that person who understands that it is worth fighting for the
best things in life?
This leads to a difficult conclusion. It is important that my companion have the
personal strength to show me they are not willing to settle. They must always seek the best and not stay
in one place hoping things may be better someday. That is more of the point than anything. I am constantly looking for someone who will
show me they are not afraid to abandon any facet of their life they feel is
less than they deserve in search of something better. This is incredibly difficult for anyone to
deal with and thus a rare quality. I
understand that. I have my own personal
set of challenges and demons I continue to face on a daily basis, and yet I
continue to fight. Why not find someone
with that same willingness? Well, it
seems that is extremely hard to find, and yet I keep searching.
Finding someone who knows they want change but is willing to
sit in their current situation and wait for something better to come along is
not enough. I want more, and I feel I
deserve more. Does this make me
cocky? Perhaps, but if that is the case,
so be it. Actions are everything. Prove to me that you are not willing to
settle. This may be the most single
attractive quality I can think of. Prove
it and I am there. I will not wait. I will keep looking and keep striving to be
better. I expect nothing less but
nothing more from you. Find me and talk
to me, and I am here. Show me and prove
to me that you will not settle, and I will do the same and be there for you
forever.
The bottom line is simple.
It is far easier to settle for less than you deserve. This is why so many people choose that easier
path. It may be hard or it may be near
impossible not to settle. That doesn’t matter. You fight through it, and you don’t
settle. Why would you do this? You do this because there is something better waiting for you. You do this because there is someone on the
other side who not only understands the decision you made but loves you for it
and will help you move forward. You will
both be happier in the end.
What more could anyone possibly ask for in this silly, crazy
little insignificant thing we call life?
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